As a couple, you’re going to have good times along with stressful moments. There will be days when everything runs smoothly and weeks where it feels like you just cannot get into a groove. You may fight with your partner, or you may hold it in and let the tension out in smaller, but still unhealthy, ways. If you have children, then it’s important for you to understand how your interactions with your partner can have a lasting effect on the people who are watching your every move and taking their social cues from you.
In This Post:
All Types of Destructive Conflict
Destructive conflict isn’t just physically hurting each other and hurling out names. It can take a wide range of forms, including walking out, withdrawing, avoidance, and threats of abandonment. Children who witness these hostile interactions are more likely to become aggressive and to have behavior problems at school, and that can lead to visits from a professional who has earned an online degree in social work if children are lashing out at school and exhibiting destructive behaviors towards their classmates.
Kids are Highly Intuitive
You may think that you’re doing the kids a favor by not fighting in front of them, but kids are very intuitive. They know when something is wrong. They can tell when you’re unhappy and just putting up a happy front, and that won’t make them feel secure. This is why sweeping the marital strife under the rug and hoping that nobody notices won’t work.
Changing Cortisol Levels
Kids who are trapped in homes with parents who don’t know how to work as a team and constructively work through their challenges have higher cortisol levels, they tend to be ill more often, and they have trouble sleeping and concentrating. By contrast, a calm and peaceful environment lowers cortisol levels so that everyone in the home sleeps better and feels more relaxed.
The Right Way to Disagree
When you can listen more, be empathetic to your partners view, remember that you’re working towards common goals, and come up with realistic solutions, you can maintain a healthier atmosphere in the home. Researchers encourage you to let the children see you work through the challenge so that they will have a better idea of how constructive conflict resolution works.
Disagreements are a part of life, but fighting and tension don’t have to be. You can show your children that two people can have opposing views and still arrive at a peaceful, effective solution that works for everyone. You’ll feel calmer, and your children will also benefit. They’ll be happier and healthier as they grow up and better equipped to handle strife in a constructive way.