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One baby’s hard work, two is definitely a challenge and anymore than that can see you wishing you could move to another planet where the population is one (that would be you) and the only piece of nursery furniture is a huge warm bed with your name on it. Apart from the lack of sleep and having to cope with the awesome responsibility of keeping your babies safe and well you have to cope with the fact that your life will never be the same again. Some days the nearest you get to looking and smelling good is a quick spray of baby sick behind each ear.
You’ll look at the other new Mothers you met at baby classes with their one sweet little baby and beat yourself up because you feel envious. That’s just the start. They say women are born feeling guilty but you don’t really understand the concept fully until you have children and if you have more than one child at a time the guilt comes in tenfold. Each new day brings wave after wave of the stuff. Inevitably almost from day one your new little people will exhibit their different personalities. If you got one baby demanding attention and the other is quite content as long as he/she is fed and changed you may begin to feel that you aren’t giving the more placid child enough attention. Perhaps it’s time to stop beating yourself up. It’s not about ignoring or taking advantage it’s about accepting that your babies have different needs. You can’t change this. If you find yourself having to spend a bit more time on one child then that’s how it has to be. You are only one person and it doesn’t make you a bad mother it makes you a mother who’s doing the very best she can. You’ll find time to give the other one a bit of special time too. It’s just probably not going to be exactly when you feel it should be.
Don’t try to be a hero. Mothers never get medals but they do get offers of help. You probably think you’re the only one who can possibly care for them but that’s simply not true. If you are lucky enough to have offers of help from trusted friends and family grab them with both hands. Babies are like little sponges, they soak up love from whoever is prepared to give it and who knows you might even get time to spend half an hour on that other planet and re-charge your batteries.
This article was written by James Anderson, on behalf of Baby Planet, a leading UK online retailer of nursery furniture, cots and pushchairs with free delivery and price match guarantee.