In recent years, the number of people getting divorced has been steadily increasing. Marriages, which were once expected to last a lifetime, now often end in divorce. In fact, divorce is so common that some people have started to question whether or not the sanctimony of marriage is dead.
While it is true that divorce is on the rise, that doesn’t mean that the institute of marriage needs an overhaul. After all, it has been used to successfully bond couples for centuries. The key is to evaluate why many modern marriages are failing. Then, couples can use that information to come up with strategies that make it easier for them to resolve conflict. This, in turn, can result in stronger, longer lasting marriages.
If you are ready to strengthen your own marriage, here are some tips that should help:
- Don’t expect the initial passion of your relationship to last forever. When you first start dating someone, everything is new and exciting. Typically, fledgling relationships are filled with passion and romance. Over time, these feelings of excitement can start to fade. If you spend your time longing for that initial passion, you may wind up disappointed.
That doesn’t mean, however, that your relationship is doomed or that you won’t be able to enjoy romance after a certain number of years. Instead, when you are with someone for a long time, your relationship changes. You become extremely close, knowing each other more intimately than anyone else in the world. This can create a deep sense of companionship that should be cherished and appreciated.
- Remember who you are as individuals. One of the biggest mistakes couples make is allowing their personalities to blend together after they are married. When you first started dating, you were drawn to each other because of your own individual interests and personalities. After marriage, try to maintain that sense of individuality. Keep up with your hobbies and focus on preserving your unique identity. If you give up the things that you love, you may find yourself feeling bitter as your relationship goes on. Don’t sacrifice the things you love. Additionally, don’t ask your partner to give up what they enjoy. Appreciate one another for the unique characteristics that make you individuals.
- Take time for yourself. While it is important to spend time with your partner, you should also spend time focusing on yourself. Go out with your friends or take time to do things on your own. Creating a little bit of space in your relationship will make the time you spend with your partner even more special.
- Make communication a priority. You don’t have to spend all of your time talking about your relationship. However, it is important to periodically communicate with one another – especially if something is bothering you. Never allow bad feelings to fester. Instead, talk about them so that you can come up with solutions to any problems that may arise.
- Always make up with each other after fighting. Fights occur in any relationship. The key is to let go of the anger and to forgive one another before you go to bed.
- Consider keeping at least a portion of your finances separate. Financial issues are one of the biggest points of tension in any relationship according to Claritychi.com. Even if you decide to pool your money together, consider maintaining individual bank accounts, as well. That way, you are less likely to fight over how your spouse is spending their money and vice versa.
- Focus on trust. When you are in a relationship with someone, you may go through times where you experience doubt about their fidelity. Perhaps you see them flirting with someone else or you think they are spending too much time with one of their coworkers of the opposite sex. While it is easy to jump to conclusions about whether or not they are being faithful, try to avoid automatically assuming that something is going on. Working yourself into a frenzy over something that you imagine may be happening not only can create a lot of undue stress for you – it can also drive your partner away. Nobody likes to be accused of cheating when there is nothing going on.
At the same time, however, don’t ignore potential warning signs of infidelity. If you see obvious signs of cheating, bring your concerns up with your partner, talking openly with them. Try to avoid making accusations, talking about your feelings, instead. Having open discussions about these types of topics can help soothe your fears while at the same time letting your partner know that they may need to adjust their behavior.
- Dealing with parenting issues is one of the hardest parts of any relationship. If the two of you have different parenting styles, it can lead to conflict in your marriage. Consider sitting down with one another and talking about how you want to raise your children. If both of you can compromise a little bit on things like disciplinary methods and reward systems, you should be able to come up with a parenting plan that you can both agree on.
- Take vacations with one another. It is easy to get so caught up in dealing with life and trying to save money that you forget to take time to relax. Spending time enjoying each other’s company is an important part of rekindling your relationship. You don’t have to travel to the other side of the world or take a major trip. Just try to carve out some time in your schedule to relax and unwind with each other.
- Avoid intentionally talking about things that bother your partner. Everyone has certain topics that they are sensitive about. For instance, if your partner struggles with their weight, don’t make jokes about their food choices. Even good-natured ribbing can be extremely problematic when dealing with sensitive issues.
- Spice things up. Just because you are married, it doesn’t mean that you can’t try new things. Set aside time for romance. Staying intimate with one another is a great way to keep your relationship strong.