What is the right way of upbringing children? Does it exist? Perhaps, the right way is to make sure the parents and children communicate with each other and feel comfortable sharing feeling with each other. To make that happen might be not as easy as you think. The upbringing process has many tricks and it’s good to be aware at least of some of them.
You can find an endless number of books and blogs dedicated to the topic of upbringing. It is easy to get confused and lost in that amount of information. There is also a constant pressure of trying to be the best parent for your kids. These simple tricks will hopefully take the pressure off of you. It is good to know how the psyche of a child works and how you can benefit from this knowledge.
‘Do not touch that!’, ‘Do not go there!’, ‘Do not eat that!’ – are just some of the most popular phrases parents often use. When you use such expressions, your children see you as someone who always forbids them to do everything they want. Moreover, you give them the new ideas of what they can do even if they have not thought about these possibilities before. To change that, you can start making suggestions rather than forbidding. So, instead of saying ‘Do not eat that chocolate bar’ you can say ‘Taste that chocolate-dipped banana’.
Being a solid support
Your children need to know that they can always rely on you. Especially, when it comes to stressful situations. If you start panicking as much as they do, they will not see that solid support they need in you. Be a role model for them and they won’t become too frustrated every time there is an exam or an important job interview in the future. You show the kids that there does not have to be an association between a stressful event and anxiety they should feel.
Choosing without having a choice
Sometimes being a parent means making your children believe they have a wide variety of options to choose from when in reality they don’t. Everything depends on the way you pose a question. If you want your children to eat healthy food, you might ask them ‘What would you like to eat for dinner – broccoli soup or mushroom soup?’. We all understand that they would rather eat french fries instead but you don’t give them that choice. The goal is to make them choose between the alternatives that are acceptable for you. Then, you are not a strict parent that says what they should and should not do but the one that invites them to take part in the decision-making process.
The privilege of being an adult
Our life is ironic. When you are a little kid, you want to grow up faster and become an adult. When you are a grown-up, you sometimes want to go back in time and become an irresponsible child. You can use this idea to make your children do something they are not fond of at the moment. For instance, instead of making your kids eat veggies, you can tell them that only grown-ups eat broccoli, it’s their prerogative. The trick might work and they will ask you to share the broccoli with them.
Being careful with your attention
Children like being in the spotlight of everyone’s attention. That is why you can often see how loud and desperate they can get to make the adults forget about everything and surround them with love and care. However, you as a parent don’t need to be a part of that manipulation. If your children are exaggerating the effect of a slight injury (as many kids do), do not give them the reaction they want. Just carry on doing what you were doing without making an emphasis on the injury (of course, we are talking about a small scratch or a bruise). When children see that this approach does not work, they will stop crying and yelling.
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