Adopting can be a very exciting opportunity for couples. Being able to raise a child is something many people look forward to in their adult life. However, it certainly comes with its fair share of complex problems. Here are a few do’s and don’ts you should be aware of:
Do Educate Yourself
Becoming a parent is more than a full time job. They way in which you parent will affect that child for the rest of their life. Begin reading books and magazines geared towards new parents. Ask for advice from friends and family members. You’ll find most people are willing to share their own adoption experiences. Not every case is the same, but much of the information will be beneficial to you and your own family.
Do Create a Financial Plan
While raising a child in general is a huge expense, the cost of adoption ranges from $25,000 to $50,000. Whether you’re adopting your first child or adding to your growing family, be prepared financially. You will notice a difference in your expenses, so be ready for it! Develop a financial plan that can help prove to adoption agencies that the child you adopt will be well taken care of.
Do Consider Each Child Individually
Don’t rush into adopting a child. Consider their situation and how welcoming he or she into your family can best help them. The decision to adopt a child is a big one that often comes with stresses you weren’t planning on having. Remember that by adopting, you are giving a child a shot at a life with brand new opportunities.
Don’t Limit Yourself to Domestic Adoption
While domestic and international adoption comes with similar costs, an international adoption typically has a longer wait time. Don’t have unattainable expectations for the type of child you want to adopt. Allow adoption services to work with you as best they can when placing you with the right child. Certainly consider adopting a child from an impoverished nation if you can.
Don’t Adopt if Your Relationship Is Unstable
You should avoid adding a child to an unhealthy home environment. While many adoption services prefer a two-parent household, single-parenting will prove more beneficial for your child than a negative home life with conflicting parents. Enlisting the help of lawyers than can help with your divorce can make the taxing divorce process a little easier– especially when considering adoption.
Don’t Ask Children about Their Birth Family
You can learn basic information from the adoption agency about a child’s original family, but try to avoid asking the child about his or her birth family if they are old enough to remember. Wait until the child volunteers the information on their own. Don’t coax them into doing so. Some children come from very abusive homes and reminding them of that could be harmful. Create an environment where they feel safe and protected.
Adoption is a huge step. With its stresses and concerns comes the reward of giving a child a new life with the love and opportunities you provide them. This decision is life changing for both you and your child. Keep yourself informed about the adoption process and proper parenting techniques before you go forward.