Helping Twins Become Individuals


As a twin, my childhood was different from my other friends. I was constantly living as ‘The girls’ and ‘The Twins’, I never had my own identity. We shared a bedroom, wore the same clothes, had the same classes, played the same sports and had identical friends. If my twin were to get in trouble for something it was assumed I did the same. If I didn’t like a certain class and had difficulty, it was assumed my twin was there same. We were constantly seen as one and it made growing up difficult.

We were never separate from each other until our first year of college and then things got very confusing for both of us. We wanted different things, we liked different boys, and different activities and it put a very large wall between us. We didn’t understand how to accept the other as different because we didn’t know how to. To help your twins to grow up as close siblings and as individuals consider the following:


Whether you separate your twins by giving them different rooms or enrolling them in different music lessons, it is important that you give your twins the chance to express themselves as individuals. Just because they are twins, does not mean that they have the same interests. Give them a chance to explore and experience childhood on their own. Do not put them in the same school class and encourage them to make different friends. There is no need to worry that the twin bond will be broken if you allow your twins to do their own thing.

Think of them as individuals

Think and treat your twins as individuals. One twin may be more of the sensitive one and the other more outgoing. Teach, love and punish each twin as an individual, cater to their needs. Call them by their names and avoid calling them ‘The Twins’ or anything that will lump them together. It will happen from time to time but try not to make it a habit. Your goal is to give them their own identity, this will help them when they grow older and experience the real world.

Twins are a wonderful blessing for any family; however the unspeakable bond between twins can be different from normal siblings. Raising them as individuals will keep them confident in their twin bond by living as themselves and not each other.