It’s some parents worst fear; their teenage daughter is pregnant. Most teenagers don’t deliberately set out to become pregnant, it usually happens by accident. Since this is a very emotional time in your daughter’s life, you want to be careful how you handle things. The baby’s daddy, as well as his family, will have much influence over your daughter. You want to make sure you are not pushed out of the way. Sure, you’re probably upset, but you still want to be a part of the child’s life. Here are 10 ways you can build trust with your child and not make the situation worse.
Be A Good Listener
Your child is well aware of what she has done wrong. She doesn’t want you to judge, rather she wants you to listen. She has so many emotions going through her right now, sometimes she just needs to vent.
There’s an old saying that states never tell someone something they already know. Your daughter knows that finishing high-school, going to college and working is now going to be a huge task. Rather than being quick to point out all the things that are so wrong, it’s better to help prepare her for what is ahead.
Never Grill Them With Questions
As a parent, you want to know the how, who, where, when and why questions. It is better to let them come to you and tell you when the time is right. If you start pressuring them with a bunch of questions, they are probably going to turn you off. Tread lightly when trying to get any information.
Keep Your Composure
While you are probably going through many emotions too, you want to make sure that you keep your composure. Your teen is probably expecting you to explode. Surprise them by being calm, cool and collective. Even if they mention domestic infant adoption option; talk with them and make sure they know what they are doing.
Leave The Ball in Their Court
Your teen is going to have to make a lot of choices. Some families look to adoption while others look to abortion. It is best to let them make their own decisions. While as a parent you want to advise, the choice is theirs.
Be A Problem Solver not A Trouble Maker
So many parents want to put their hands around the guy’s neck and go after his family. Rather than trying to go for blood, try communicating with the other family. They may be willing to help with expenses and to be a part of the child’s life too. Try to make peace not cause more turmoil for her.
Offer Your Shoulder
Giving a hug can do wonders for a stressed out teen whose blood-pressure is rising. Rather than talking too much, extend your arms and allow them to cry on your shoulder. It will build more trust than anything else. Everyone needs to have a safe place to turn.
Focus on The Excitement
Rather than looking at all the negative aspects of having a child so young, focus on the exciting things. Take the teen shopping and help them make plans to finish their education etc. Sure, it’s going to be tough, but they can do it.
Offer Counseling or Support Groups
Due to the fact that having a child is such a hard job at such a young age, it’s best to call in professional reinforcements. Find support groups or a counselor who can help your teen through this tough time. If they are willing, it’s a great outlet for them.
Love The Child
So many people blame an innocent baby for a mistake that two people made. A child is a beautiful gift that should be loved and adored by all. Love the child and the parent will love you. Help choose names, clothes and be a part of the baby’s life.
Life throws curve-balls that no one expects. You have an opportunity to be a part of this blessed event. Regardless of the circumstances, just be there. Teens can be hard to figure out and difficult to deal with; however, they need you now more than ever. Just being there is the best thing you can do.