Giving birth prematurely can be a terrifying experience, and one that can place a heavy strain on your marriage.  Many first-time parents have yet to grow accustomed to the demands that raising an infant will require of them, as individuals and as a couple working together for the greater good, and a premature baby only intensifies those demands.  The following are a few of the affects you may feel after the birth of your preemie.

Working through loss.  No one expects that their child will be premature.  Though you might not have been aware of it, you undoubtedly had very specific expectations about the course your pregnancy would take, and these probably didn’t include a visit to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (or NICU).  Suddenly your predictions for the way the birth would go have given way to a frightening new reality, and you’re left with confusing feelings of guilt, anxiety, and fear.  This leads to grieving for the loss of what was expected (even though the baby has survived) for both partners.  It is important to remember that everyone grieves in their own way.  Open communication is essential, even if it hurts to talk about your feelings.
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