I need to find some strength

Posted by PROUDMOMOFTWINS on December 15, 2008

Hi,

I am a new mom of twins.. Makayla and RJ.. Born Oct 19th 2008 (29 weeks) RJ weighed 2 lbs 7oz and Makayla was 2 lb 6 oz … they have had a rough road! At day 6 of life they found out Makayla had a blockage and had to do intestine surgery and removed 12 cm of her small bowel… RJ has cronic apnea and Brady’s.. they did Makayla’s surgery and all went very well. RJ continued to have “A & B’s” so they started him on caffeine. THat seemed to work. Makayla has had to stop feeds twice now. Once because of infection ( E COLI) and C-Diff.. RJ also had a UTI and C-DIff. THey recovered from that and now today RJ coded (35 weeks) and was able to be brought back to me, and Makayla is off feeds again due to NEC. I am so frustrated and I am trying to stay strong for these two but I feel myself getting so worn down I don’t know how to stay strong for them. It is a horrible roller coaster ride that I want off of! I want to bring them home, I feel the hospital does more harm than help.. I know they are there for a reason but the hospital introduces so many infections and bacteria that my home wouldn’t. Can anyone give me any hope?

Proud mom of twins!

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Tracye Cooper said,

Dear Proud Mom of Twins,

I am the mom of two preemies and I realize how difficult this journey can be. It is natural to want a little bit of control over what is happening- after all, who knows what is best for a baby than their own mom? I don’t know how close you are to God, but this is the best time to pray and to do so without ceasing. His shoulders are much bigger than yours and he can handle this situation very easily- so heap it on Him! Once you do that, try to get as much sleep as possible, eat well, remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS,and please reach out to anyone who will listen- ask for an open ear…prayers…a shoulder to cry on- from family, friends, NICU nurses, hospital social workers, local churches (even if you don’t attend there), etc. This is no time to be shy- your babies need your strength and the prayers of everyone who is willing. I just prayed for Makayla and R.J. and I want to offer these words for you: ” The eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. ” 2 Chronicles 16:9 and ” May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ” Romans 15:13.

Take a minute at a time,

Tracye Cooper
The Bitty Baby Shop
tracye@bittybabyshop.com
Elaine said,

Hey Proud Mom of Twins,
I am also a proud Mom of twins-boy,girl too! Mine were born at 27 weeks and have been going through much of the same roller coaster. It is a horrible ride. I can tell you that my little girl has just made it through the NEC so there is a light at the end of that tunnel. My son had a brain bleed and we won’t know until he is older what effects that has on him. I can tell you that I understand how you feel about the hospital. I love talking to the nurses and doctors when we are on the up part of the roller coaster but when problems arrive it is so so hard. they have to warn us of everything and that can be very overwhelming. You are not alone just remember that. Being a NICU mom is so hard. The guilt sucks and is hard to shake too. Give them as much Kanga care as you can and talk to them as much as possible. That is all I can do and I do feel like it helps them.
Peace-stay strong –Elaine
abbyjess said,

Hang in there Mama. I have no wisdom of my own to share but have some moms who have their own preemie stories. You might start there for resources.

http://mamasnest.wordpress.com/
http://www.sweetsalty.com/

Word of warning: sweet/salty is both a happy and sad story as she lost one of her boys but she is full of raw emotion that might help you see you’re not alone.

My thoughts are with you.
courtney said,

you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers
Laurie said,

Be strong… You can do this. I am mom to Hannah (1 pd, 7 oz)and Cooper (1 pd 13 oz)born 7/10/08. They were born at 25 weeks. Both of my kids have had heart surgery and Hannah had a perforated bowel and contracted MRSA in her abdomen that has requires 2 surgeries to get her bowel working. We almost lost them both a couple times. They both had bradys and apnea which they grew out of eventually. For a while it seemed that every day there was something new that we had to fight, and that we were never getting anywhere. It’s a really long road, but they will come home to you. Cooper was in the NICU for 5 months and Hannah came home with a feeding tube at 6 months. I can’t tell you how sweet it is to have them home now. Be strong…. your kids are here and they are fighting.
Cassie said,

Hey, i was just wondering if your girls had any problems after having NEC since they are older now.
Mike said,

They both had bradys and apnea which they grew out of eventually. For a while it seemed that every day there was something new that we had to fight, and that we were never getting anywhere.
Extenze said,

I have no wisdom of my own to share but have some moms who have their own preemie stories. You might start there for resources.